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Dreams & Making Albums

Greetings to you, the good people of the land of the interweb. It’s a great pleasure to have been asked by Dave and Jono at LTTM to do some guest blogging for the site. I’ve got a new album, Heart Strings, out on November 22nd and in the run-up to the release I thought I’d write pieces about the process of making the album, some of the highs and the lows, to give some insights about the great things about being a musician who is a Christian, and some of the not so great stuff too.

I thought I’d start with the theme of dreams for this first one. Dreams are something we all have. Some of us want to be musicians, some of us footballers, or film stars, or TV evangelists (if that’s you, it’s time for a re-think), but we all have dreams at some stage. Even God had a dream, which was realised in the beauty of creation, and He has a dream for the reconciliation and restoration of all that He has made into the relationship of true life, hope, love and freedom that we were made, and redeemed for.

Well, my dream was always to be a musician, from the first time, at age 13 or so, that I played a song I’d written in public, I knew that what I wanted to do was write songs and play them to people. Even though I thought I was pretty rubbish at it, it gave me such a joy to play that I carried on anyway. So, then my dream became to release a record, which I did in 2003 with FreeSlave, and help from Whizz Kidz enabling me to write and record Project Freedom, which was followed the next year by Remember the Day, and a couple of years after that by Songs for the Dying and the Save My Day EP. During that time, I was privileged to travel all over the UK and Ireland, and have my songs bought and listened to by people all over the world, as we, as a band, got to the point of being featured on Radio One and playing gigs in nice places like Trafalgar Square, and I was asked to be a Cultural Ambassador for Britain’s 2012 Paralympics, as one of the few wheelchair users active on the music scene in the UK. We were blessed to be able to take our songs to a lot of places that Christians don’t get to go, and make a difference in some lives.

Sadly, around 2007, things started to go wrong. I don’t know if it was because I got more concerned with having good hair than a good heart, or if that particular season just naturally came to an end, but it seemed to fizzle out all of a sudden, just when we were on the cusp of big things. Even with the release of Circles, my first solo record, which received a lot of acclaim critically and from fans, something seemed like it was missing, not quite adding up. It was in this context that I set to work, towards the end of 2008 on what became Heart Strings. Back then, I thought, vainly, that this record would be the one that would finally ‘break’ me. Certainly I, and my brilliant team of musicians and producers worked hard on it, I am very happy indeed with the finished record, and I hope sincerely that you like it when you come to hear it. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done, and, I think, a very good album.

Thing is, God’s dream isn’t for me to be an amazing musician. It’s not His dream for you either. Neither is it His dream that I get rich, or that the whole world thinks I’m the coolest four-wheeled person on the planet. No, God’s desire is for relationship with me, for my life to be submitted to Him and for me to live daily seeking to follow in His way. Music is important, and can be crucial in leading people to and encouraging people’s relationships with God, and also simply as a means of enjoyment, but I needed to learn that it wasn’t as a musician that God wanted me to be defined, but as a child of His. Wherever you are today, His primary call on your life is that you be a child of His, and love Him as He loves you. What comes out of that life of love can only be more fruitful as a result.

It is from within this developing sense of identity that Heart Strings, the finished album, has emerged. As a picture of where I’ve been, and where I am now, I think it’s about as complete a piece as I could manage at the moment, and I can’t wait for you all to hear it.

Next time I’ll write about some of the songs, the recording process, and some of the fun that I’ve had recently trying to work out the best way to release the album, but for now I want to thank you for reading, supporting my music and the music of other people who are seeking to follow Jesus, encourage you to check out my stuff, and most of all, to take some time today to consider this man Jesus, whose dream for your life was so outrageously astonishing that He changed the course of human history, just so that He could spend eternity with you.

http://www.louderthanthemusic.com   Read the blog here.

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Disability Uncategorized

Rash Words Are Like Sword Thrusts (Livability Community Mission)

Our guest blogger today is Haydon Spenceley. He is 28, a musician, a son, brother, fiancee, Church of England ordinand, wheelchair user and a strong writer about himself in the third person. Really though more than all those things he is a son of God who’s trying to learn to trust and not figure things out.

He writes for us on the abuse he has recently faced due to his use of a wheelchair.

The other day, as I was paying for my shopping in a well known supermarket, a lady pushed past and called me a “stupid spastic”. I think.  I say I think that’s what happened because, although I heard the phrase being used, I had no idea that it was directed towards me, until later on. It seems that perhaps I got in her way. Perhaps I just wasn’t supposed to be breathing the same air as her. When I realised, a lot of things happened at once. I was shocked, surprised, disappointed, hurt, and even a little bit amused.

One of the first reactions which came to mind when I did realise, was to wonder how the lovely lady could possibly know me so well having never spoken to me before, or met me, to my knowledge. You see, I am indeed a stupid spastic. Stupidity is, of course, a relative and subjective term, but I have to say that I have, on many an occasion in the past, both recent and distant, behaved in such a way as to be deemed “stupid”. I’ve made a lot of bad decisions in my time. I expect you have too. Even further than this, I am, too, a spastic, given my condition, Spastic Diplegia (a type of Cerebral Palsy). I must admit that I am impressed as to the diagnostic skills of my verbal assailant, who must have analysed my physical abilities and posture very swiftly in order to render such an accurate diagnosis. Of course, I had no time to applaud her obvious medical skill, but I hope to meet her again, so that I can suggest an immediate change of career path.

After my initial defence mechanism of humour died down (see sample above) I quickly got to be quite sad. First of all, I don’t like getting in people’s way. I am self-conscious about such things. Second of all, I really don’t like being called a spastic, however accurate it might be. It seems to me that no-one ever means it in the medical sense and that, instead, it’s a kind of cheap points scoring, one-up-manship, where the point is to once again draw to my attention that I am not as good as other people, even though I know that I am.

You’ll be pleased to know this isn’t a bleating peace. I’m getting to the good bit. As the evening wore on, my mind turned to Jesus (aren’t I holy) and the story at the end of Mark chapter 3. Here, Jesus’ family have decided that he’s lost the plot and come to “take charge of him”. Upon doing so, they’re met with some of Jesus’s best parabolic wordplay. Who would seriously have known what He was talking about at the time? “Who are my mother and my brothers? he asked. Well actually, they were standing outside, as well as being well known in the area, so it should have been obvious. The point perhaps, was that they had failed to understand who Jesus was, and what He was about. Whilst not rejecting His family, He also wanted to make it clear that He was about His Father’s business, and wanted to surround Himself with those who  would share in the work with Him.

Proverbs 12:18 talks about the responsibility that goes with speaking words over people and in to their lives.

“Rash words are like sword thrusts,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

Even though, in the story in Mark 3, no words of the family are recorded, it is possible to see that what was spoken towards Jesus that day by His family were indeed akin to sword thrusts. It was the same for me on Saturday, as I fairly quickly had to return once again, to the question of identity, and whether I see myself as more than something stuck to the bottom of the shoe of society. I know many people go through much, much worse on a far more regular, even many times daily basis than I do, but it was a jarring, difficult experience.

Over the last few days, I’ve been challenged in two regards:

1.   Jesus went through much worse than anything I ever do as He was misunderstood, insulted, unloved and denigrated by those that He loved. He stands with people who are marginalised, even if they are only marginalised for a fleeting moment, and continually lavishes grace, love and peace upon us, that we might truly see that we are who we are because of who He is, and that it is who He is that is crucial.

2.   He lavishes all this upon us so that we might be people who are wise, and have wise tongues, or wise ways of communicating. We are to be people of love, charity, kindness, mercy and forgiveness, whatever people do or say to us. This doesn’t mean we always have to be nice. The Church should get righteously angry in its stand for justice for all people that the kingdom might come. It does mean, though, that we need to think about the words we use, the labels and values that we give people. Most of all, we need to remember, at all times if possible, that we are beloved children of God, made to be loved by Him and to love others. So is everybody we meet. So, even as we season our words with salt, and agitate for justice as salt and light in the world, we should know others, and know ourselves, as children of God. That way no words or labels that others place on us can truly hurt us again, and nor should we be guilty of doing likewise.

http://communitymissionblog.wordpress.com   Read the blog here.

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Disability Uncategorized

Ministry as a Disabled Person in the Church of England: A Vision Haydon Spenceley

Ministry as a Disabled Person in the Church of England: A Vision

 

Haydon Spenceley

 

20As it is, there are many members, yet one body. 21The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you’, nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’ 22On the contrary, the members of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23and those members of the body that we think less honourable we clothe with greater honour, and our less respectable members are treated with greater respect; 24whereas our more respectable members do not need this. But God has so arranged the body, giving the greater honour to the inferior member

 

1 Corinthians 12:20-24 (NRSV)

 

You shall not revile the deaf or put a stumbling-block before the blind; you shall fear your God: I am the Lord.

 

Leviticus 19:14 (NRSV)

 

In the church of the modern day, perhaps more so than any previous stage in Christian history, diversity is a key driver. By the grace of God, people of all backgrounds, experiences, outlooks, strengths and weaknesses are continuing to be drawn into communities of faith, relationships of discipleship and intimacy and drawn along into the glorious, mysterious journey of life, faith and hope that is our response to the wonderful Good News of Jesus Christ. The church has always been for all, just as Christ died once and for all, but as the Church of England seeks to maintain and develop its calling to be a Christian presence in every community, the challenge remains for us as an institution, as the church, to reflect the wondrous beauty and diversity of God’s creation and the redemptive, reconciling work of Christ in how we are led and how we lead.

 

As a disabled person, I find passages such as those quoted above to be both exciting and daunting. Whether I see myself as one of those parts of the body which is weaker or not (and I think this is something which is difficult for each individual person to rightly perceive about themselves), it is more than true that my journey towards and through training for ordination in the Church of England has not been an easy one. Indeed it should not be easy, not many of the most worthwhile things in life are. However, as I have been humbled, formed, taught and most importantly blessed, by both the opportunity of being at theological college and being granted the privilege of time to stop and specifically focus on growing in my relationship with God and my love for his church, I have spent much time thinking about how disability can play a part in ministry. Not merely is disability something to be dealt with or worked around, as part of ministry. Rather I would argue it is something to be celebrated, as Paul seems to intimate in a passage from Corinthians 12 above. Disabled people are part of the church. They should be. They must be, in order for the church to be healthy, to truly reflect the will of God for his bride and most of all, to be holy. A church which puts a stumbling block before a disabled person, which does not allow them to fully integrate, participate and, where appropriate, lead, is not a holy Church. It is not the church that Christ envisaged, that he called us to be.

 

It is my contention that the church has an opportunity perhaps greater than at any previous time in its history to be a force for social change in this generation, in this time. As social care and welfare continue to be under review and discussion, I believe it is time for the church to take centre stage as the one actor in society through which people, whatever their levels of  functionality or impairment, are treated with equal levels of love, respect as creations loved by God, made to look like him, known to him by name and delightful to him. It was never God’s intention for social disability to enter the world. I believe passionately that one of the key potential roles of the Church, hopefully spearheaded by the Church of England in the coming years, could be the attempt to eradiate social disablement, through loving acts of kindness, service, education, and through the grace and power of the Spirit.  This is something which I think God is calling me to, calling us to, as people who work in this area in His Church. It may seem an impossible task, but nothing is impossible for our God. The day when our Churches, our communities, do not put a stumbling-block before those whose functionality is not at a level that the outside world would deem “full”, when someone might be able to lead the Church, regardless of their physical or emotional strengths and weaknesses if it is deemed right for them to do so, is closer than it has ever been before. Let’s work hard to give everyone in our Churches an equal opportunity to join in and play the game!

 

Haydon Spenceley

 

This article was originally published in The Church Times, July 5th 2012