I’m not very good at memorizing passages or phrases from Scripture. I don’t know why. It’s just never worked for me. One of the few I have managed to commit to memory though is contained in today’s reading. The trouble is, it’s all very well saying to myself over and over again ‘it’s for freedom that Christ has set us/me free’, but if I’m actually not willing or able to accept that freedom, then I am the one who loses out. So, here it is, I’m not a slave to sin anymore. Jesus took the consequences of sin on himself. They are not mine to carry any longer.
I’m someone who cares a lot about justice, about doing the right thing, about having the right thing done to me. I very often don’t manage to hit the mark. This causes me a lot of problems. I worry endlessly about problems I have caused for others too. Often I worry about permutations of problems that may well not even exist. I don’t think I should be allowed to live in freedom, at the same time as I spend a large amount of life trying to convince myself and others that this is exactly what I have, because of Jesus, not because of me. It is exhausting.
There are a great many days, a very great many, when I feel far from free. I’d almost rather I be enslaved, this seems fair to me (I mean this in a spiritual sense). I know this is wrong and contra to the life and teachings of Jesus, but there we are. The gospel is such foolishness, even to me, someone who is being ‘saved’. It is unfair. It is so much more than any of us deserve, but there’s the ever-present worry of becoming complacent or too comfortable with the whole deal that we don’t acknowledge the sheer wonder, grace and abundant generosity of it all. I am not better. I am not superior. I am freed, by Jesus, to be a voice, and an activisit, in freeing others by pointing them to him and extending his invitation to life and love.
What do you think?